So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
