Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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