dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I need to calm my uterus...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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