4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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