Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He felt like a one man threesome
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
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She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
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The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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