it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
