before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.