I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.