She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.