The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.