i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!