you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.