I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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