She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize