I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
what day is it and did you see me today?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You pole danced in your parka.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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