Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
don't judge my taste in strippers
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
