You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
