We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
