Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I forget how to act sober
Randomize