I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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