You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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