He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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