Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
