at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
