So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
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