Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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