sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
