I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
