i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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