Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
