Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
