I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
