it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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