After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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