it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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