we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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