what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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