Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
