Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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