I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
