It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
