Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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