My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
