A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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