i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
