Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i think my cat just said my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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