apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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