Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
where am i from again
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
