Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize