she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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