i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
