Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
