Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Randomize
