Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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