we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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