Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I love you. Go after that dick
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
