remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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